Hi All. I have been lurking for a while and have finally decided to post. I have been with my bf for 11 years now, we have two sons and over the years have been a victim of 'serial infidelity', until the last one where he fathered a child. We were living in different countries when this happened (for 1.5 years) however we talked online almost everyday so this was definitely a shock for me. I tried to make it work but it was too much for me so I put him out. It has been 2 months now, and we have never stopped talking during this time, as you see we have been friends since we were 11 years old...I am 33 now.

He says he is really sorry and we have had many chats about it where we both spoke about what we feel went wrong in the relationship. I am at the point where I would like to give us one last try before I call it quits. I want us to go to councelling and he is willing to go also.

However I keep feeling like I am Stupid...if you know what I mean. Like why would I take him back except if I was desperate. I know many women in my situation have done the same but I cannot help how I feel. I love him but I feel weak and stupid. I am scared if I leave what the future holds and to be honest I need his help. I got a job that requires a lot of travel. My mother is here with me now but I cannot keep her hostage in my house.

I am soo happy when we talk but I feel so sad at times too.

The biggest thing for me as silly as it may sound is how I will look to other people. Those who know my situation all say "leave him" and some have even said, if I go back and get hurt don't come back to them. Going back with him may in essence make me lose some friends (not as serious as that but if you understand, things will not be the same), but with all of that, I have made up my mind and I am going to try again.

Anyone in this situation? How did you deal with it? Any comments welcomed.