My spouse was sexting with 2 women over about 10 months, one in particular with whom he developed a very close relationship (we've known her for almost 20 years and I know he's always been attracted to her). He became very emotionally attached to her through sexting; social hours that involved a lot of partying, dancing, and a lot of conversation; and I'm sure many more get togethers & discussions over the phone, at lunch (they work in same building), etc.
We're trying to rebuild our marriage now and I'm hitting some walls. He doesn't seem to think he was really cheating on me and has also pointed out others have done much worse, and he still is in the blaming mode (meaning, I "caused" him to cheat, he's won't take responsibility). In our counseling I'm trying to figure out what he can do to rebuild our trust but one thing I've been very clear about is his needing to end his relationship with her...and when I made that clear in our counseling session he was on the phone again with her within 6 hours (I can tell by the cell bill online, but he took the time to delete the phone log of the call on his phone - not a good sign, I know).
I know I'll be posting questions and reading a lot here...but at this point I'm just wondering
- * Have any of you had this experience (emotional cheating w/o sex),
- * What did you or are you doing to rebuild trust
- * Did you have a hard time getting the spouse to admit or believe what they did was cheat
- * Once your spouse knows how you tracked them (like looking at email and cell), did they go undercover even further and how were you able to keep tabs? (I HATE keeping tabs, it's really stressing me, but I don't know what else to do)