Well for those that know me and my story....as everyone elses..my road to recovery has not been easy. I cannot go no contact and to be honest even withouth having to have interaction due to Extraciricular activites we still have been in contact. However this weekend involved a hotel with the whole 20 families and it was hard. Hard for my H as he felt we were making eye contact, hard to act normal in front of everyone so no one would speculate anything. I wanted to cry at so many times. Cry because when he was socializing with our circle of friends I stayed away...then he would do the same. I thought why did i do this. This time last year we would all be together, joking, laughing, my H included. Heck my H would have been hanging out with him. Now this year its totally different.
For the first time I was strong. I stayed distant. I didnt try to find a way to interact, to meet up in the hallway accidentally. I avoided eye contact and I was proud. Me and my H didnt do as well and I know it was hard for him. I dont know how he doesnt explode but he obviously has more self control then what my and my AP had right!!! I dreaded this weekend so long and boy when we were driving home yesterday was I ever happy to get home and back to my little safe haven!!!
So I just wanted to post and say that I hope I am gaining strength and becoming stronger and can get him out of my life so that I can work on my own life.
Have a great day everyone!