I am courting a woman with a 16 yr. old daughter whose father is deceassed with and no other relatives who are 'overly' concerned about the daughter. Hence, her mother is all she has and they are very, very close which I can appreciate.

I have 4 kids, ages 14-23, and I don't foresee my exW creating any real problem for me regarding this second marriage.

However, I want my new W to put me ahead of our collective brood and I want to do the same for her. Basically, just like any married couple would/should do if all of the kids were biologically shared between them. The woman I am courting agrees but I'm questioning whether or not she realizes just how enmeshed that she is with her only daughter.

What are the potential barriers to accomplishing 'spouse first' and what might facilitate it?