After a year we officially ended it. We kept coming back to it but my xap is going to be having his first child and I can't bear it anymore. The pain is so bad and I have to hide it. I fell is love hard but he always held back thinking this baby is going to be the cure for his M. I can't stop crying. I can't stop feeling useless. Why does this happen? What is the point of all this if it ends in pain? My xap was my best friend and now I have lost both from my life. I have a wonderful H and a child of my own but right now I want Xap back. How can I turn this into a positive. I really need advice right now.