Hi. I've never been to this board before, and I really didn't know what to Google for help, but my mother is in end-stage kidney failure, she's 89, in a nursing home, and they told me today that she's got anywhere from a week to a month left to live. She went to the hospital two days ago, and they said that if she wanted to be on kidney dialysis, then this is the time they would have to start it, because they have been trying to stave off her having to have it done, but now her kidneys are down to 5% of their function. She said yesterday that she didn't want the dialysis done; I talked to the doctor, and she was in agreement with that. I mean, if my mom did want to go for it, the doctor would have supported that, but my mom is tired, she has dementia, and she doesn't want to go through any more. Although that was hard to hear, I had to support her decision. She is in a nursing home in Pennsylavnia. I am three hours away, in New Jersey. I used to live in PA until they foreclosed upon our house, and my boyfriend and I had to come up to NJ to live with a friend of his, because we didn't have anywhere else to go. We are going to to down and see her tomorrow, but this is really tough.
I have to say my 'good-byes' and "I love yous" and anything else I can think of. I am 47; my mother had me when she was 42, and I'm an only child, and we've had a great relationship, so I have to think about that.
But I feel alone and scared. I'm not sure what to expect. It's never time to let someone go, is it? I'm just lost, and reaching out here.
Thank you for reading this,
Julie Van Dyke