I had a horrible day at work, a coworker decided to drill me on things that were non of her business in the first place. It's not the first time. This is a huge trigger because one of the reasons I started talking to xap was because of discord with coworkers. I would go to him to vent, to get a smile, a kind word, laugh... Even when we tried ending a gazillion times, problems at work are probably one of the main reasons I would really NEED to talk to him. I guess to get that kind word, laugh....
Anyway, part of me wants to call, but suprisingly, its not quite as strong as usual. I'm finally starting to 'get it' that he's really not there for me, so why do I keep reaching out.
I did try to call a couple other girlfriends, they didn't answer, then with the phone in my hand, I had a brief 'what the heck' thought followed by NO!!! I'll go post on the boards.
I'd kind of like to go run or at least walk, but don't want to go to all the trouble. Suppose I could take a shorter walk in the neighborhood, vs going to the park for a bigger walk. This typing really does help.
Still having the annoying rollercoaster of emotions, but winning with "I can do this" feelings and affirmations.
ok off to walk, leaving the phone inside. ..
Have a good week everyone. It has got to get better!!!