I posted on here about a year ago, and thank you so much for the responses!
I will try to make this a QUICK 'what would you do' question
married 5 years, all pretty good except frequent stress as we are opposites about money. Meaning, DH is the youngest in his family, never saved money, happy with blue collar jobs (which is fine!), doesn't care to plan for retirement, spends as he goes.
Me: oldest in family, career-oriented, I've made it a point to have a 401k, equity in my house, paid off my car, have good job
Dilemma: About once a year DH runs out of money -- usually he'll not pay me for his 40% of the bills and I can handle it. Once he forged one of my checks (he forged my name, and his reason was he was low on money) and that sent us to a marriage counselor. He does a lot of housework and I appreciate it. PROBLEM: His old company dissolved and the ONLY job he's been able to find is 16 hours a week. He does look each day on line, but has recently run out of money - he is behind on child support to his ex, behind on his car pmt, and has bounced checks to me by accident.....he owes me $800 that he'd usually pay me toward our mortage/water bill/groceries...............THIS TIME around I am low in my savings account. I feel bad he is only working 16 hours a week, but to be honest, he had years to save a little here and there and never does
I finally said to DH "I am out the $800 you'd usually pay toward bills the last 5 weeks and I am charging groceries and really stressed" He said he'd borrow $ from his brother. FINE with me as I've always had to wait for him to pay me whenever he is "low" -- I think either a personal loan or borrowing from his brother is necessary -- he could lose his car to non payment! Five days has gone by and he says he can't reach his brother. When next Friday comes, the amount he's behind on his portion of groceries/water bill/rent/power bill will be $1,100 -- I am really low on money -- I may have to cash out a 401k.
Of course, we pray he'll find another full-time job, or even a 2nd part time job, but he's been looking 2 months and still has just the one 16 hour a week job. Should I bug him daily to ask his brother for money? Should I keep charging gasoline, the water bill and groceries just to have cash for the mortgage? I FEEL HE THINKS I;LL MAGICALLY "be able to pay all the bills" - he knows my mom alwasy gives us $ at Christmas, I think he hopes I'll borrow from her. Note: I have helped w/his job hunt, I helped re-do his resume, got him on LinkedIn, I've even went in some restuarants to see if they are hring part time
What would you expect DH to do if he'd "owed" you for shared bills in the past, and now owes you almost $`1,000 for shared rent, power bill, groceries...........My dad said dh should look into food stamps (?)