A member of another board I am in suggested I get some insight from you guys. I am female, near 40, have always had a very high libido. Since I was like 12 and realized I knew what it was. I was horny even younger but didn't understand what it meant or was. So I just ended a 7 yr relationship (a affair actually and am ashamed of it). Now, the sex is completely gone. Gone. Gone. I used to be ashamed of my high libido, and my female friends would tell me how weird it was. But when in the relationship he told me it wasn't bad, just more than some. I don't act out on my urges, I am not a nympho, I do not go to bars or act out on my drive. But to be honest it is driving me insane. I don't want to get rid of it, I just don't know how to deal with now that I am not having sex. I do not use b.o.b.s and they do not work for me. Masturbating leaves me in tears because I want the real thing. My sex drive is "not vanilla" in nature. So.....I was in a "50 shades of something" relationship, and was finally accepted for who I was. Now I ended it, and I embark on trying to deal with this drive and not vanilla sex needs.
Some days I am so horny I am just angry, very angry inside...it isn't like "man, I wish I could go make love ...sigh". I feel like "man, I really need to #$$%^ and I can't so now I want to slam a plate". I've tried exercising to exhaustion. Guess what? It made me hornier. I tried drinking some wine, it made me hornier. I feel like I'm walking around ready to either "F" or fight. I never act out on my urges, but my high libido is affecting how I work and treat my family (kids) now.....I just feel a lot of angst. And no, I'm not married. I am a single mom in a professional field (so I also have to be very careful what I do in public). Any insights? Thoughts?