Hi everyone, I'm Karri. I've posted a few times and have been on this TTC rollercoaster for 2 years now with 8 or so losses...the most recent being in July for a suspected ectopic (posted above). So here I am after a lot of self help, relaxation, meditation, accupuncture, etc with a BFP. It turned on 9 dpo last Sunday. I had bloodwork today. I have no real reason to suspect that this won't work exept for my history, but I am going from being calm and confident to freaking out. I think either the progesterone suppository cut inside or directly outside, as it is sharp and I seem to every now and then have a pinkish tinged discharge when I wipe. Of course this only gets my mind freaking out more. I want so badly to believe that this will work out and I do believe that many of my m/c's are stress related. I want to talk to someone and I reached out to a dear friend from one of the other boards who has BTDT and has been supportive, but she totally blew me off. I am afraid to tell anyone because I never get the reaction I need and I don't want to jinx it. I guess that's why I am posting here. I need to get my anxiety in check and just verbalize my fears. I know this is common, but does anyone have any coping strategies that seeem to work? This has just been such a long journey and I can't quite let myself believe that it's going to work out. Thanks for letting me vent.