I've posted a couple of times about my sexually active 15 yr old dd, how I recently learned of her and loverboy having sex in my house. And I've also posted about how defiant and disrespectful she is toward me.
Things are getting worse between us, and for her, and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't seem to forget or trust her again (after finding out she had sex in my house while I was home, upstairs asleep). Even her friends tell her they would never do something like that in their parents house, and she doesn't seem to get what she did wrong. (I did take her, by the way, to the clinical nurse practitioner last week, and as soon as her next periord starts, she'll be on the birth control pill. The practitioner discussed everything with her, especially about STD's and condom use, so hopefully she will be smart). I told her I was not giving her permission, or even accepting it, but merely protecting her.
Loverboys mother has told my daughter that if something were to happen, she was welcome to live with them. WTF kind of mother is this!? Does she want my kid? Does she want her son to be a teenage parent just like she was? I am just so pissed, and hurt, and ready to just say... here, take my kid, pay for her education, birth control, clothes, and the baby they will have! I know that sounds selfish on my part, but I just don't know what to do at this point. My daughter and I used to be so close, and now I feel like I've lost her. I don't know where her head is at most of the time. Her grades are in the "D" average right now, and if she doesn't bring them up in the next week, she will be kicked off the varsity cheer team. If that happens, she will have a really had time at school. She is a flyer on the team, and they have no alternates to replace her, so she will be letting down the entire team. When I talk to her about these issues, and ask her if she cares, she says she does, but then when I bring up the consequense, she just replies with, "whatever!"
She eats food, leaves empty glasses and bowls all over the house and counters, leaves her trash all over. I can't seem to get her to clean up after herself... I tell her I'm not her maid, and she says she knows I'm not, and she'll clean up after herself, but she never does. Her bedroom... clothes all over the floor, clean and dirty. And then when I tell her to clean up or I will throw them all out if they're left on the floor, she puts everything in the hamper to be washed (even the clean clothes). She leaves her panty liner papers all over her bedroom. She's too lazy to throw them in the bathroom garbage and she puts them on in the morning in her bedroom. I tell her to put them on in the bathroom, but she won't. She just won't listen to anything I tell her!
She tells me she doesn't drink or smoke, and I do believe her on that. But she also thinks because she doesn't drink or smoke, that she's this great person... like lying constantly, complete disrespect (she even curses at me constantly), slacking, all is no big deal because she's not a druggie or an alcoholic.
Therapy does nothing at all. We go, we talk, she talks, it all seems like it will work out, then we drive away, and all goes back to the way it was. It never gets better. I'm so over all of this, I don't know what to do!! I'm ready to send her away to military school!!!!