I ended it in May. We both took turns fishing but were strong at alternating times. He contacted me last night with a final goodbye email. I happened to be online, freaked, and went to see him. Stayed with him until he convinced me he was alright in the morning. He killed himself this afternoon.
I have so much guilt for not staying longer today and for not knowing he was on the brink. I can't talk to anyone about it without damaging his memory, reputation, and family, or mine.
Seems like I read about someone on these boards that went through a similar situation. I guess I'd like to chat with her, but I don't remember how to find her.