I guess i will bore you all will my story that is exactly like every other one on here! Happily married for 18 years, 2 kids all good. Started new job 3 years ago and become close with a married co-worker, just good mates, chatted blah blah blah same old thing...then we flirted a little more and after a function we somehow ended up the only ones left at, we kissed, it was nice, we laughed about it the next day and decided we would never tell anyone else and that it could never happen again he had been married for 25 years and had never even looked at another woman, but we both wanted more, we spent more and more time together at work, emailing jokes back and forth, 6 months after the first kiss came another kiss, we started texting a little and slowly a relationship grew. We started seeing each other after work a couple of times a week and taking RDO's together to go on day trips, picnics, boat trips, lunch dates. We spent 20 hours together one day and still didnt run out of things to talk about..we fell in love. We were each others BFF's. We shared everything, he brought me lunch everyday at work, his leftovers from home the night before. We kissed each other more than we had our partners in our lifes. We talked about how to leave, how we could be together, we could never find a way, he has 2 disabled children that are cared for at home and need constant care..its just so messy. 4 weeks ago his wife took him to a hotel for his birthday while the kids were at respite, he walked out on her and told her he wanted a divore and he wanted to be with me. I was so happy but not sure i could leave my family, but i am so in love with him...anyway i didnt get the opportunity to make the decision I dont know what happened but he text me to say i cant be a part of his life anymore and that the last 2 years have been the best 2 years of his life but he needs to do the right thing and care and provide for his family. The W is making his life hell, we work together so the NC is not an option, over the last 4 weeks he has told me he still loves me numerous times, then some days he is so cold to me he cant even look at me and it kills me. His W has sent me some very nasty emails and she has told him he is not to talk to me, she is losing it, she has resigned from her job and becoming physically violent towards him. My H has no idea, i cry everyday. I cry the days I dont see my AP and i cry the days i do see him and leave him. He is constantly in my head, the first and last thing i think about everyday, i dream about him every night. He is the same, he says I am just always there in his mind, and he dreams about me every night as well. how the hell do i move past this?? please help..am i even making sense??