Hello everyone. I am new here and looking for advice/recommendations as what to do. I am recently separated (two weeks) from my husband of 17 years and thinking on Divorce. We have two children DD 15 and DS10 and kids live with me. I have had many problems trusting my husband .We have been married this long because i didn't find the courage to leave him until now. this is the problems. Ii have with him...when i was Pregnant with my son he would always tell me he wanted to sleep with a good friend of mine which he met because she would come visit me often. Nothing ever happened between them. But he always told me he wanted to have sex with her when we were in bed and he begged me for a year to ask her if she was willing to take the offer. I told him absolutely not and I was not willing to share him if we were married and he wasn't too happy about that . Time passed and he continued to tell me he wanted me to have sex with another man while he watched and possibly joining. I told him no way that I was not willing to do that. He continued to pressure me for many years after that. He would tell me he wanted to have sex with other women but only if it was ok with me. I told him no. I never gave in. He would also tell me he found young girls very attractive like as young as 15! We are now 45. When he would see pretty girls he always told me about it. It happened all the time. At grocery stores, at my aunts house and some were my cousins which he would tell me "o my God, she is so pretty"! I never seen anyone so pretty and he would start asking me questions about them. I got so fed up with him and started not trusting him and eventually sleeping in separate rooms. I dont know of him ever having an affair that i am aware of aside from the emmotional affairs he told me about. he says he tells me everything because he loves me and wants my ok on it. he has many sex fantasies that he wanted to carry them out and i was so diss appointed andI feel I don't love him as I used to as he hurt me a lot. He never carried them out. well thats what he tells me. i just dont trust him. He also told me he wanted to get circumcised at age 40, i found that too odd. he also told me he wanted to get a tatoo on his arm and that one he wanted he had seen it on a porn star. We had other problems with him doing bad things at his job that have caused him to get fired and i would tell him many times to stop and he never did so when he got caught he got fired then again at the other job he got the same thing. He would swear he was gonna change that he won't do it again and he did so he got fired again. This man hardly drinks. Does not smoke or do drugs. He works and brings in a decent check which he gives me all his money for me to manage it. He is a very good financial provider. I always take care of everything all he does is work and come home and sleep. He does all the outside house work when the kids are home instead of him doing it when the kids are not home so when they get home from school he could spend time with them but he doesn't manage his time to be around the kids. The kids don't really miss him as he was Hardly around. I have had numerous conversations about all the things he did to me that really hurt me and about spending time with the kids. He tries but I'm still dissatisfied as I feel he is not doing enough. He tells me he works and he is tired. i also work and come home and continue but he doesnt help. he doesnt cook, clean, or do nothing other that cut the grass. He has hurt me so much and I don't trust him. He wants us to go to counseling to see if we can work it out but I'm not sure what to do. He has his own apartment and he calls me and tells me "look, I want to be with you, do you think if I didn't I would be out looking for someone to bring to the apartment but I'm not", that makes me not trust him. He says its all in my head and I'm totally wrong. That I am possessed! I'm so confused. Please give me advice. If I am making a big deal out of nothing please let me know. He is making me feel that I am leaving him for no good reason.