So after a lot of discussions with a family member that is a counselor I am considering staying with H for my DS's sake. H has said he would "do anything" if I would stay, including redefining our relationship. I talked to a lawyer yesterday and got some good legal advice about how to do things to protect myself and DS. So the plan is to file a divorce complaint to create a legal date of separation, dissolve all joint accounts and move to completely separate finances, and then live together basically as roommates in order to co-parent DS. Not happy about living with him for potentially 13 more years, but he is being a jerk about everything and will make this even more painful than it will already be for DS. H and I talked about it last night and I think we have most of the logistics worked out and agreed to except for one thing. He wants to be able to "have his needs met elsewhere." No girlfriends or anything like that because that would ruin the illusion we are trying to maintin for DS. I said no and H said that it wasn't fair that I am setting all the terms of the new relationship. He also said it wasn't fair that if I wasn't going to perform my "wifely" duties and meet his needs then he should be able to have them met elsewhere. We will basically be separated and I know plenty of people date and have relationships whle they are separated and waiting for a divorce. Is there anything I can I say to counter him? It is true that I have no sexual needs right now (long story about that) so I fully intend to remain celebate and it won't be a problem for me at all. I really don't care if he is with other women from an emotional point of view but I guess my problem is that while adultery isn't illegal in PA, it is grounds for a divorce and if he wants to have other women then just agree to the divorce and we both move on. He also wants me to sign a contract saying I won't use this against him in the eventual divorce. I have a HUGE problem with both items. Any thoughts on what arguments I can counter with?