I thought I would pose this questions as I am really wrestling with this. I know this is early, however, I don't want to be stressing out about this at the last minute. When delivering in the past, my girls stayed with my parents which really worked well since they live in the same city I am delivering in. We live in a rural area about an hour and half outside of the city so its definitely a trek. My parents have always done this for me and my sisters when we were having babies.
It's a long complicated story right now, but my mom is under a lot of stress from a lot of things at the moment, mainly because one of my sisters is going through an ugly divorce and her and my 18-month-old nephew have been living with my parents for awhile. I have no idea how long they will be there, but will most likely not be moved out by the time I deliver this baby.
My mom is semi-retired, working a part-time job early in the morning and caring for my nephew for the rest of the day. I know she does not get paid time off with her current work situation and can't really afford to take it unpaid. I casually asked her the other day if we were able to pay her missed wages and then some, plus provide food, if she would consider watching my 3 girls during delivery time. She said she would think about it, but didn't think she could probably handle my 3 girls, plus my nephew. My 2 oldest are 8 and 6 so hardly any trouble at all, but I could understand how my 3-year-old could be more of a challenge. Last week, she called and was super stressed and had devised a complicated plan of me having someone different watch my girls each morning while she works and her driving 90 minutes over here with my nephew each day so she can watch them here at my house and then drive back to work each morning. She works 4 - 9 am each day so I would have to find someone to watch my kids every day from like 2:30 am- 12:00 pm. No. Way. She seemed upset when I told her I really wasn't crazy about that idea.
It sounds way too complicated, plus I wanted to be able to have my girls close to the hospital to come see baby once it's here. It's hard not to feel hurt over this, but I think she really needs a break. She is the kind of person that will be totally destroyed if I ask someone else do this now instead of her, but I have to do what's best for my kids. I don't want to be in the hospital worrying about who has my kids or where they are.
I love my mom so much, but I have been a wreck. I don't have many options. Honestly, she is probably just under too much stress right now and I need to figure something else out. It's not easy to find someone who can take of 3 extra kids for several days. Most people I know are working moms or already have a houseful of kids to care for. I am pretty picky about who watches my girls... a little overprotective, probably, but in a good way.
My other sister is out because she is in an abusive marriage with cops regularly at their house. DH's family is out-of-state and his mother is not in good health. I have one person in mind that would possibly do it, but she has her elderly father-in-law and mentally ill brother-in-law moving in with her sometime in the next few months so that option could be out, too. Last resort is DH gets a hotel room in the city and stays with the girls there and we try find someone who can stay with them just during the last stages of labor and delivery. This means I would be alone at the hospital much of the time. That is looking like the best option at this point.
I know I am extra emotional because of the prego hormones, but I am so beside myself about what to do. I really wish things were different... I am so sorry this was long. It's one of those things that I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about right now.
Anyone else thinking this far ahead yet??? :)