So after two and a half years, I have a new job teaching 4th grade. Guess where? Back in Detroit. Yes, I should be happy but in traditional fashion, I have reservations.

One, its urban and I'm kinda tired of dealing with super ill behaved children. Its starting to get very old. Secondly, I really wanted things to work out in DC but I have to go where I can make a decent living.

3rd, I am yet again, going back home to stay with family while I save money to find a place. I dont want to live at home anymore, EVER.

Finally, I'm just tired. Im so tired of this cycle, myself and moving, its all too hard. Not to mention, I  have to leave the loves of my life,  my 4 year olds because my finances are so dire it wont allow me to stay.

Everyone else is saying I should feel blessed and happy and glad I have a family to go home to and that I'll be making more money. I guess so, but all I can see is giving up, consistently what I love and where I'm happiest to do something else.

I will be happy to lead my own classroom again. Oh did I mention this new job only pays once a month, but everyone says I shouldn't be bothered by that cause ITS ONLY ME. As if taking care of yourself is SO DARN EASY. Its really not!!

Your thoughts? Please be honest, I need a new perspective on this. I mean, yes I'm taking the job so I can ONCE AGAIN get back on my feet. But I cant get knocked off my feet again, I fear I'll never be able to get back up again.

Ruth