Lately i've been feeling so overwhelmed and down. I've had a lot things to juggle between my family issues going on, the cutsody battle for my step children, my job, and trying to finish the last semester getting my degree are all driving me crazy. My mom is seriously ill and will not tell me how bad it is. All i know is that shes going to die (and shes only 16 years older than I since she had me when she was young) Its always been like im her mom and now im tore between the aggrivation she brings me and guilt about her illness.   I just feel like I need a serious vacation.... even if i could just deal with the loss of pay for a week I doubt my boss would give me the break, I feel like im so heavily relied on there and usually I can handle it but being pregnant I just feel like I cant deal with everything I normally deal with. I also feel so guilty for being down because I know i should be excited for my baby (and i am definiately excited its pretty much the only thing that has me smiling lately). Normally over this weekend I go all out with halloween decorations and having my friends gathered but this year I just didnt feel  up to it and now im regretting it.  I guess I just need at least a day to worry about me and do something for me I want so bad to go out and have lunch with the girls or get my hair done, just something.  Im stuck in a rut, and my fiance is trying so hard to make me feel better and I love him so much for that.  Sorry about the rant.  I dont even think I got all of my thoughts out clearly lol.  On the upside I get to see my little one on monday and find out if im having a little girl or boy, I CANNOT WAIT! ive also been nervous since I really havnt felt any movement yet, so the ultrasound will definately put some fear at ease and put a big fat smile on my face :).