So the female trio I play in has a big gig this Friday. It's our first really serious concert, and tix are selling well and I'm starting to get kinda psyched.
The gig is about a block away from xAP's old house.
Not sure how often xAP is there anyway, though as far as I know his W and kids still live there. I heard a few months ago that he moved in with his new GF "part time." Not sure what that means but of course it doesn't matter.
One of the ladies in my trio, who also knows him and knows what happened, ran into him at some point recently, and he pulled her aside and wished us good luck at the gig and said he knows the place and he loves it. OK? I know from her that he's been laid off again. That's all I know. N I keep wanting to ask: Did he say anything about me? Did he say anything else? Where did you see him? Etc., etc., etc.
But I'm pretty sure I should not ask. It won't make me feel any better to know anything else about him, right? If he feels bad about me it will make me feel bad. If he doesn't give a ___ it will also make me feel bad. I list him a silent candle at church today, that's all I thought I could do. I assume, also, that that little tidbit should probably reassure me that he won't show up at the gig. (Which would be awful--this I know.)
I'm a month away from being a Vet.
Why do I feel guilt at not wanting to even ask? I think his life may be falling apart and I feel sort of guilty that I'm relieved to not be a part of it anymore.
Like I said, I already know what you guys are gonna say. I just need you to remind me. NC means no fishing, even third-party fishing, right? Because it won't go anywhere good to know any more than I already do.
Right? Right? Right?