I have been through this before.  The pieces that stick out as unusual, however big or small.  Things that don't add up or make sense.  And intuition screaming with alarms flashing.  When I went thru this before I consulted a PI whose fees I could not afford but he did give me some very sound advice.   He had been in his profession for many years and dealt with many, many cases.   His clients were mostly female and he said in all his years and cases he had never found a situation where a woman's intuition was not correct, at least in some measure.  "God's gift to women isn't Brad Pitt, it's her intuition" he firmly stated.  "NEVER fail to trust your intuition".

My alarm bells are warning me again. I am beyond crushed and shattered into a barely functioning mass.  Of course I am getting denial.  Politely offended denial at first with the standard response that is a warning in itself; "I wouldn't have time".   Now more heated denial.

It's so degrading and defeating.    If someone cheats, so be it.   It's incredibly shallow and self-serving to lie about it and try to deflect the blame back on the spouse as irrational.

* Edited to clarify I am long divorced from the first situation.   After a long and solid loving courtship I married again.  I am no longer a size 3 which I suspect is the biggest reason for his roving eye.