Hello - I'm 44 and my husband is 48. We have been together for four years and married for two. We lived 1000 miles away when we were dating and sex was great when we saw each other. After he moved up here and moved in sex came to pretty much a halt. I took it as he was starting over and trying to start his business back up all over and a lot of stressful things were going on. Four years later and it has still been that way. I've gone to bed many nights crying because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I've tried to talk with him and we've fought about it. I am 50 pounds over weight so that hasn't helped me feel any better. Anyway yesterday I had to go out to the garage to pass a message on to him and I caught him masterbating. He was totally embarressed and I just felt like someone slammed me right in the heart. Everything just came crashing down..without saying anything I left and drove around and just bawled. Alls I can think of is he can't stand to have sex with me and I'm so discusting. When I came home he tried to talk to me and tell me it wasn't my body and wasn't me it was just something guys do. Well I'm not stupid and I do it on occasion myself as I've told him because I don't get sex from him. We talked more and we made love last night. I tell him I'm ok now but I'm not. I'm trying to put up this big act but I am so hurting and just can't stand myself. I just feel that I need to end my marriage and not be with anyone. I don't know what to do or where to go with how I feel. He is a very good man and I love him so much but I just dont know if I will ever be able to get past not believing that I don't discust him in the bedroom. :(