Just thought I would check in and let everyone know how things are going here in Oz. NC started when xAP took annual leave on Oct 31st, since then he broke the NC rule 6 days later with an email (just a smiley face) to which I didnt reply, followed the following day with another email asking if I could do a work related favour, I crumbled and said yes, he called we chatted for 40mins. He text me the very next day asking if i was home, he was passing and would call in to see my new pool. I was at work and didnt reply. A week later he sends another email this time just a winky face, i crumbled and replied with a smiley face. That was 6 days ago, I have not heard anything nor i have tried to make contact, I still love him dearly but it is getting easier and I am starting to see things clearer and I even now stop myself and think...gee I just went a whole hour without thinking about him! I know this is a small step but considering he was constantly on my mind 24/7 just to not have him there for an hour is signifcant. So just as it is getting easier my next hurdle is arriving in the form of a work awards night this Saturday night, yes xAP and his W will be there as will I without my H, we have to attend, and all of us seated at a round table of 12 - nowhere to hide. This will be my first contact with the W. I am not sure how I will feel about seeing them together, in all the time of our A I never once saw them together. I am also unsure as to how much xAP has told her of the A and whether she will corner me and ask questions??? or worse abuse in front of everyone. Do I need to fall violently ill on Saturday afternoon just so I don't have to endure the torture or do i face my fears and hope this is another step forward in seeing the A for what is really was?