Like so many others, I have myself in a situation that I never intended on bing in, and desperately want out of it.
I am a mw who met a mm online a year ago. My h was so emotionally detached and unavailable, that I (stupidly) reached out online to a total stranger to "fill my needs". Knowing all along that I never had any intention of leaving my marriage. I was just looking for a little validation and needed to know there was someone who needed me.
I met this man, and he was charming and handsome. He lives in the same community as me, so meeting was never a problem. We met at the most, once a week for usually just a lunch, or a casual walk. A friendship soon developed, and I was entirely comfortable with just having that with him. He soon wanted more, and I don"t need to tell you where the natural progression of that lead to.
During this whole time, I wasn't comfortable with the physical aspect of being with him. He's extremely patient and accomodating, and never pushed for more than I was willing. Really, a gentleman. About six months ago, I realized that I was just tired of the sneaking around and worried about getting caught or recognized. I also came to the realization that I didn't want more from him than a friendship. Although there is some chemisrty, I just don't feel romantic feelings towards him. And here's the crazy part. I tried to end it twice with him. He would call me and ask for just another meeting to talk it out, which always ended in the continuation of the A. I have tried everything to let him go. As of last week i even told him I was moving to another state and we had to end. His response was that he'll travel however far to see me. His words, verbatum: "I will never let you go." He claims his wife is a horrible, violent monster, and he is working on moving out of his home. He says he'd like to get a house with me, and for us to be together. At one time I would of been tempted, but he has never once told me he loves me.
I know it's within my power to stop this. I have tried. How do you end when someone won"t accept an ending?? My marriage is in shambles bc of this. I have been emotionally even more distant than my h, who incidentally, has noticed my change and I've noticed that he's trying harder now. Now the problem is that I've been comparing him to how the other guy treated me...
So to summarize my long-winded story....Is it WRONG of me to just "GO" from this other guy? As in, no explanation, just don't answer calls, whatever? He gets really irratated if I don't respond to a text or call (even though that was STANDARD treatment I got from him!) He can act like a spoiled child and I'm afraid if I ignore him he'll come over to my home! I just want out of this. I'm tired of feeling like a horrible person. Even though my m is FAR from where it should be, I jsut want an honest life again.
Thank you so much for listening