Hi,

me and bf have been together almost 2 years. I admit it was rocky relationship from the start, i fell in love before him, and he made it clear when he was not in love. I accepted the fact and we continued seeing each other. We broke up a few times, but we've been together since the last break up for 5 month now. About a month ago he admited being in love with me and everything was wonderful, like our relationship was reborn and was better then ever, even talking about our future together, moving in, and I even gave him my house key. I have always been truthful and loyal to him and never ever kept contact with any exes or so called friends...(before we met i had met other people which i had casual relationships, there was sex involved, but once i  realized it was just that and not leading into a relationship i would put an end to it). Last June, when me and bf broke up , i casually texted a guy who i had met before, we never made plans to meet only casual conversation, nothing more. Once me and bf got together i told this person that me and bf were back together, and to not contact me anymore, to avoid any troubles. Last Saturday night i received a text from this guy, saying hi, which i ignored. The next day he texted me again claiming how rude i was for ignoring him, I texted back telling him to stop messaging me. He texted back a rude reply, and i told him to stop contacting me! After that my bf who was over, took my phone without me noticing and started downloading music into my phone. I got really nervous. My bf asked me to type my password in order to download, and then i noticed i had a message. My bf asked if i had a message, so i panic and said no. Later on my bf confronted me about the message and i lied saying it was my girlfriend asking me to go out. In the past i have been judged and have not gotten his support over other guys bothering me, he always held things against me an blamed me, so i got scared that we would ruin our happiness and it to avoid conflit, i decided to not tell the truth about the incident. I felt terrible about not telling him the truth, i really wants us to have an honest no lies relationship. Well, a few days went on and he was still lingering about the incident, so i decided to tell him everything. He said that i hurted him, and now he has to take a step back from where we were (thinking about the future together, etc). He has lost the trust from me, that he's having a hard time believing me or any word i say...and that he needs space. It's been a few days, he has called me once each day, but very dry, our conversations are short, not the same.  I'm so afraid to loose him...i regret all this. I told him that i didn't know that i could come to him and tell him everything from when it happened, i told him i got scared. I told him i was sorry. How do i fix this, how do i regain my happiness and his trust back?