So my ex and I have tried to the breakup of our marriage from affecting our kids.  It's hard to always be positive especially right afterwards, but we both realized that we had to put the kids first.  As of now, it's been years since we were together and it's all in the past.

So if we can put it in the past, than why can't my relatives?  I'm about ready to just have Thanksgiving with my kids and husband to avoid some of the nasty comments that inevitiably seem to come up at every family gathering.  I don't know why my family persists on casting him as the evil perpetrator in our marriage when in reality we equally are to blame.  It's in the past, and they need to just get over it.  He is still my children's father and deserves some respect.  I don't like my kids to be witness to any negativity about their dad.   How do I tell them to just shut up?