I haven't wrote a post in months bc I feel like I've been doing ok. Today there was something that came up. We were watching Tosh.0 and there was a video/song on there called "smell yo di**" my husband said he didn't want to watch it and fast forwarded it. I should have left well enough alone but I asked him why he didn't want to watch it. He didn't tell me at first then I wouldn't leave him alone about it. He finally told me that "she" played that song for him and said "I'm surprised your wife doesn't do this when you come home." this brought up a mixture of feelings, hurt, anger, disgust. I lashed out at him and went had a good cry. It's been a couple hours since it happened and I feel so disgusted. I don't even want to be in the same house with him. It just really disappointing bc I don't think I have felt this way in over a year. He has ended the affair and has had no contact with her for over a year. I feel so distant from him right now and feel like I don't even want to be with him. What is going on with me? why have I let this affect me like it has?