Hubby and I have always done Christmas cards separate. He sends his cards to his family and close friends and I do the same to mine. I have always liked to do Christmas letters and photo cards. Hubby does not. In the past I have tried to get him to do both and he usually prefers to just keep it simple. I get mine done early while he waits and it's more of a chore for him. One year, per my suggestion, we decided to finally do a family Christmas card with he and I and all our kids. On Christmas we went over to his sister's house, she got out the photo card and her and my mother in law proceeded to make rude remarks about how aweful the picture was, how odd the kids looked, etc. I was very irritated. Hubby just sat there with his tail between his legs. I vowed to never, ever again send them any pictures of our family. I am so very tired of their overly critical nature and tired of my hubby excusing their behavior.
That said this year I have decided to write my own Christmas letter and add photos from the year to send out to my list only and I don't want to tell hubby. I feel that since hubby wants to do his own thing that it should not be an issue. I am worried though that my family or one of our friends will comment on the letter and or photos and hubby will ask what letter and why didn't you tell me you were going to write a letter. I don't want to have to explain it, don't want him to get defensive. If I show him the letter and or pictures he will pick it apart and want to make changes, etc. No, this is mine and I just want to send it out. I was going to relent this year and just have a picture taken of the kids all together by a tree and send it out but hubby rolled his eyes and didn't want to. Is it wrong of me to just want to do this on my own? Do I have to run everything by him? Recently we actually got into a disagreement re something and he said if we don't have 100% agreement on anything then it just won't get done. I disagree. I don't feel like I have to just do everything he wants to do. There have been so many times where he has wanted to do something and I wasn't in total agreement and he did it anyways but when the shoe is on the other foot we have to have 100% agreement. I don't like being told what I can and can't do. That is not marriage and it is controlling. This isn't the 1950's where women were seen and not heard. I very often feel like I lose myself if I just become a Stepford Wife. Not going to happen. Am I wrong to feel this way? I mean major financial decisons or major decisions that will affect the marriage by all means should be discussed but I'm not going to ask permission all the time to do things. I'm a grown adult for crying out loud.