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Home > Need some advice please... my husband has extreme anger issues!

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ashysmashy [1]
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2012
Need some advice please... my husband has extreme anger issues!
10
Sat, 12-08-2012 - 1:54am

I will try to keep this as brief as possible. I am an American who moved to another country to be with my now husband. We met a four years ago while he was on holiday in the states, and we both came and visited each other over the next year and a half before deciding that we wanted to get married. While we were dating everything went pretty good, and he was a different person then. I moved overseas nearly two years ago, gave up everything I owned, and had to rely on him financially during the visa process as I was not allowed to work. Now everything has changed. I see my husband for the person he really is, and he has extreme anger issues and mood swings. He blames me for everything and just the littlest thing will set him off, like a car driving down the same street as him. He screams at me and acts totally irrational when he is angry. The only way he will stop is by humiliating me, telling me to get down on my knees and beg him for forgiveness, etc, when I haven't even done anything wrong. He puts me down all the time making fat jokes and other negative comments, but when I call him on it he says he is just joking. He is also a compulsive gambler, which I didn't know until I moved here. He will gamble everything and ignore all other expenses. When I try to talk to him about it, he just denies it. We had planned on having a baby, but I have put that off for now and told him I don't want to have a baby until he goes to Anger management. He denies he needs help, and I honestly don't think he will ever go.

I don't know what to do in the situation I'm in, because like I said I have given up EVERYTHING I own to come here. I have no credit cards, no money, no family to help me out... nothing. And I'm not even sure yet if I should leave. I am so confused and depressed, and can't believe my life has turned into this. I love my husband, but at the same time, he is making me fall less and less in love with him by doing the things he does. 

If anyone has been through a similar situation, or can give me some advice, I would appreciate it. 

Thanks in advance.

A.

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