One of the most important reasons why I decided to end my A, was that I felt like I was not in control and was at-risk of becoming needy if the A continued. I did not want to go there. When I ended it with my xAP , I did so with class and with most of my self-respect intact. I kept saying to myself, if I couldn't control where it was heading (on so many levels), I could at least control how it was ending.
I still think about my xAP, but whenever I feel weak, I go back and re-read my ending email to him. It's short, sweet and to the point. It makes me feel strong again - and brings me back to reality as to why it simply had to end - and how important it was to take control of a situation that was basically NOT healthy; effectively a non-relationship with no defined future likely.
If even after your A, you find your M is in trouble and not working, get help and try your BEST to sort through your problems. As WC quotes Eleanor Roosevelt, "We must do the thing we think we cannot do."
We have one life on this blue marble. Work VERY hard for the life you deserve and were destined to live. Do not settle for a bad A - or a bad M for that matter. Not for one precious moment. No room for complacency. Time's a-wasting!
That's my mantra!