Hi all.... new here and I have a question relating to sexual fantasies. I know mine are probably not normal, but wondering if anyone else has anything similar going on and some advice for me...
So I have only ever been able to orgasm by fantasizing about my boyfriends or husband being sexually pleased by another woman. I always fantasize that I walk in on them, and he tells me how much better she is/ feels, etc. I have tried to fantasize about other things, but I can't. This is the only way I can orgasm. And it's really putting a damper on my sex life, because I hardly ever orgasm during sex because of it. It takes me forever and I feel really weird, so I just go without and wait till I am alone. I also found I like being dominated, and have a past history of attracting abusive men. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I think I was molested when I was young, at least to some degree, because I have some memories of inappropriate touching by a family member, but I don't know how far it went. I have tried going to therapy for this, but nothing really came out of it. I also feel really weird talking to a therapist about my sex life. I feel like I should be able to have sex and have an orgasm without having to have this same fantasy over and over.
I would really appreciate anyone's feedback.
Thanks in advance :)