its been a year
I had an EA online with someone for a long time. We never met in person. husband was very upset by it, he found out, i didn't tell him. I stopped talking to this guy and moved on. Apparently DH went on Ashley Madison and found someone for 'retaliation' sex. I figured it out almost immediately because i knew the warning signs. He was starting an affair with her, but I figured it out after they had had sex once. We went to counseling but then some major life events that prohibited us from continuing.
Found out he was looking at another dating website about 6 months later. I stopped that affair before it started. I dont know if he had found that same woman on this other site, I never did figure out that much information before I confronted him.
I can't seem to get past this. I think its the 'retaliation' part of the affair. That he told me it was my fault. I dont believe that it is, but just the meaness of it all. He was so angry about it and not ashamed of it or very sorry. At first, at least. He is now.
we have 3 kids, and we dont plan on breaking up but .. we need to move on. I need to, I am preventing us from moving on. we haven't been intimate in a year and I feel like its time. But I am so angry with him still. I have read that i just have to sort of grin and bear it and over time it will get better. :( Get yourself in the mood, have a few drinks, try to relax and .. go for it.
Is this how it happens?