Me again! I know you are all probably sick to death of me, but seems every time I post I move on a little bit further. Guess what?? I LOVE NC, haven't spoken to xap this year, I have seen him at work, yes in my office but I have so far been able to not speak to him directly.But its sooooo much hard work, avoiding him. I have just taken 4 days off and it's been great, I am starting to reconnect with DH, I still seem to have xap on my mind but it doesn't hurt so much. Last night DH and I went out for a romantic dinner, we were sitting alfresco when next thing xap and his wife walk past!!! DH says hey there's "x" why don't you invite them over for a drink?? I pretend to squint in all directions saying where, where?? And by then they were gone. But WTH?? 1.4million people in this city and we find ourselves in the same place at the same time!! Anyway that's not my concern, it's at work, we are a small team, and it's so tiring avoiding him all day, he has a special work dinner for long service coming up, I know I won't be on the guest list and its the humiliation of not being invited, xap and I have worked together the longest and everyone knows how good of mates we are (were), I am just going to be so embarrassed when everyone realises I am not invited. How do I get past these feelings of not being included anymore?? And what do i tell people when they ask why i am not going?? If I just never had to see him again or go back to work it would be so much easier. So...should i attempt to make some kind of peace for the sake of my working life, because at the moment work is making me physically ill??Ps. I missed out of the other job they went with an internal applicant.