Today would have been the 8th day of NC. I was doing well, but was hoping to hear from him. Well, I did. Now, I don't feel so well. The heart is beating like before. He only asked how I was doing and replied to my message from last week and signed it Love,___XO. So, people, I need your help. I am guessing that you will all tell me to ignore the message and go on with my life. Since it took him a week to respond to my message, the vindictive part of me wants to let him sit and wonder what happened to me which is why I was hoping to get a message. I don't have any bad feelings towards him because we could never have a relationship together and I wanted him to find someone who he could love and would love him. Part of me is jealous, part of me is relieved and I am able to go back to my life, part of me is hurt because it all happened so fast and I think he could have handled everything better. I would have appreciated a nice Dear Tam letter to put it all to rest. I don't like the writing me then not writing me for 11 days, then writing, then not writing for 5 days, and so on. I had told him that I would not initiate contact with him, but if he sent me a message, I always answered it. After the 11 day stretch, I blasted him for not talking to me and leaving me hanging. After the 5 day and 7 day stretches, I expect it. My head tells me this WHOLE thing is ridiculous. I never wanted another man in my life. Then once I got one, I still don't want him, but struggle to get over him. I hate feeling like this!
Thanks for letting me vent.