Hi,

I know my subject line may be misleading, but I guess I've really been thinking about guy friends I've had who've now gotten married.  I'm a realist.....I know that women don't generally like their boyfriends/husbands being friends with people from the past, but it's difficult because it may be a friend that you really cared about.

I had one really good friend in high school.......he did have a crush on me initially but we just became great friends.  We lost touch for a bit and I found out from him that he'd had been diagnosed with a very (treatable) form of cancer.  I also attended his wedding.......

Another guy.....we were neighbours and he was really interested in me, but I had just gotten out of a relationship and he had the bad ex/kids thing going on.  He actually met his current wife while we were hanging out and I went with him the first time they actually met.  I wasn't actually invited to their wedding......

I guess with the first example I think I could really keep in touch with the guy and hear about his familly, etc......unfortunately he doesn't want to be on fb.  His wife is on fb.......I was a little worried about him lately, worried about the cancer.....I sent his brother a message on fb (I also knew him) just saying hi, etc. and inquired about (his brother's health) - I frankly felt uncomfortable sending a message to his wife saying that I was concerned about him and his health - and didn't want to start a possible issue.  He was an amazing friend to me and I hate the idea of maybe something bad happening to him......

The second guy.........his wife is also friends with me on facebook and they often post pictures of their baby........super cute but somehow when I post responses I get the feeling it's a bad idea.....talked to him once on the phone while his wife/gf was out.........but he has been on fb chat while I'm on and won't respond......I guess some jealousy (?) issues going on there......

Here is the "I feel sorry for me part" lol......I guess that being single is hard enough, but if you have sincere intentions just to maintain a friendship with a guy, it seems that onces they get married it's really difficult......just to even say hi, etc.......

Thoughts?

Mel