I miss him so much. I don't want him to be with anyone else. I wanto him to miss me too, to realize that he made a mistake in giving me up. I keep repeating his last email to myself and every word is like a dagger in my heart. I never knew I could hurt this way. Everytime I feel the urge to email him I repeat that final email he sent me. When he told me he didn't want ME. How could I think of going back to someone who flat out said HE DIDNT WANT ME! But my heart is telling me something else that if I just wait and be patient he will recognize, then my brain kicks in asks what am I smoking? I hated the person I was with him, I knew he didn't want the real me. That he will never come back, he showed his true colors and he doesn't deserve me. Then I tell myself.. "The character of a person is how they treat you when they know you can't do anything for them". We both made mistakes,I am no better than he is but I would never hurt him the way he hurt me. I would never make him feel like less of a man. I am so stupid... Why do I still think I lI've him? Why do I just want to do nothing but lay in his arms?
i want to blink and have this be 2014! Sorry for my rambling. I really need to get this out even thougthey thoughts make no sense