My poor DD is sure experiencing a lot this freshman year. I sure hope it makes her stronger, and not discouraged, sad and introverted. She got a new roommate sometime in November (DD's old roommate got a single room she had originally requested). First introduction she has is new roommate coming into room at 8am and asking "did the police stop by here?" Say what!!?? Later the police did leave a business card in door. Turns out boyfriend (not a student and about 5 years older) was a daily/nightly visitor to old dorm room and would beat her. He got banned from campus. Her old roommate moved her bed out of the room and when DD was helping new roommate move in, she noticed that none of new roommate's old suitemates spoke to her. Anyway, bf is openly cheating, she makes regular 3am shouting, crying phone calls to him wanting to visit him. She woke DD up at 7am one Sunday morning, chopping up meat for crockpot beef stew. Has cooked fish in the room, but refuses to go downstairs to the full kitchen to cook stinky stuff. Went fishing and left them raw and loosely unwrapped in her fridge. She has two refrigerators, (DD has small one) two bicycles, (she's storing some of bf's stuff, had a 42" flat screen tv--it's gone now, a big rattan, papasan chair. She has enough stuff in a dorm room to furnish a studio apartment and some of it encroachs onto DD's side. Constantly adjusts the thermostat. She got rid of the 10 gallon aquarium that stank and which the fish constantly splashed water out of the tank onto DD's stuff. Major road rage, shouting matches with her mom. Says something, then contradicts it. Major trust issues. Road rage and anger issues. We put in a pole shower caddy with 4 shelves. Roommate uses 2 shelves with DD's OK, and has her own small caddy, then complained about all of DD's stuff in bathroom. Hair on floor isues--both of them. Loosely wrapped sanitary products in bathroom garbage. Roommate smells. Says DD's desk is cluttered. Yes it is; they both have that problem with the whole room from what I saw this past weekend. Did I mention that DD's room is roommate's third one this year? They have a written agreement, but roommate disregards it. Some of this stuff DD tells me, I've seen, the rest is just what she's told me. And it's her perspective. I'm sure roommate has her own take on DD's behavior.
I guess it all came to a head yesterday. Roommate was feeling mothered and controlled by DD. They exchanged a series of text messages. DD wanted to talk in person but roommate wouldn't. I told DD a few things that might help her. Especially to spend less time in the room. Well today when roommate came in room, DD said hi, but roommate wouldn't speak to her. DD doesn't want to move and says roommate needs to move. I don't know how far she's willing to push the moving issue. There are 3 months of school left. I believe she can handle it and do whatever needs to be done.
I guess just as DD vented to me yesterday, I'm venting here LOL!