Once again, I turn to the people of these boards for help. Over the years, I have made some friends, and learned a lot from these boards. Hoping this time around, will be no different. So here goes....

After 3 years of separation we are finally divorcing!  Ready for this to be over.  What I want to know is, what would have you asked for in the divorce you did not, or did not fight for?

My marriage is almost 25 years.  According to my state laws, separation or not, the marriage is not over until the ink is dry.  Financially, our asets are still ours, even though he has been living with someone for 3 years and we still own a home. I know what I am entitled to for alimony. Due to the large difference between our incomes, I am entitled to quite a big alimony. I am not looking to screw him, but I made sacrifices over the last 3 years so our daughter could go to the college she wanted and to do all that she wanted. Now, I no longer want to liveon the poverty line while he buys new cars and takes trips with the girl friend that he cheated on me with for years. 

What I am most interested in is, what can I ask for in terms of his retirement and 401k?  Is there anything I should ask for? I do not know have near what I need because I really have just started my career and have not had the years to put away money that he has.  Again, I do think he deserves all the benfits of his career, but I am the one who was the single parent while he worked 60 - 80 or more hours a week, traveled and then moved on. 

Sorry for the bits of anger, it's still there. That's why this divorce needs to happen to I can move on, and stopped being tied financially to him.  I don't have many complaints about his treatment since we separated, but he has no idea how little I live off of while he earns over $200k.  

There are no children to argue over, they are adults. We jointly own a home. He claims we cannot sell is for a profit, which is crap since we owe so little on it.  But I am willing to hold off on the sale of the house to increase profits.  We have already agreed to use mediation instead of a lawyer. 

Anyone got the alimony you wanted?  How did you do it?  

Any thoughts, advice from people who have been in long term marriages and gone through divorces would be great appreciated!