I am thankful to find this board as I really have no one to discuss this with yet.  I found out three weeks ago that my husband of 23 years was having an affair.  When I found out, he quickly admitted to it and stopped it.  (I hope) We have been communicating very well and he takes complete blame although I learned a lot by myself and how men and women see things differently.  We have a good life, great kids, ect... and get along really well.  The lack of sex was not an issue for me, and I figured we were just hitting a lull.  Little did I understand that to him it meant I was no longer interested in him.  Why not just say something, that seems easier than having an affair.  Well, I guess my question is-will I ever get over the obessing about the details of the affair.  I think I am more jealous of the details than anything else.  He travels and when he was in her city, she would come stay the night at his hotel.  I can not imagine him waking up with someone other than me, or sharing breakfast or all the other little details.  Although he says she never expected him to leave me for her, I can not buy that- why would a woman leave her kids overnight to be with someone unless she had deep feelings for him.  We have done the get-away, talked endlessly, I believe he is committed to making this work and I am too but I am not sure how long I can deal with the demons in my head thinking of them together- any advice?