We've been having a sad few days here, due to something going on with dd. A very dear friend of hers (for the past 7 years) took his life a few days ago and she is reeling with the shock and loss. To compound it, they had been bf/gf for the past ~4 months but she felt that it wasn't right for her, so she broke up with him. Sometime in the hours or couple of days following the break up is when he passed so she is also feeling guilty. He had some other problems unrelated to their relationship and even though she knows intellectually that his action is not her fault, emotionally its hard to accept that.
I have been feeling so sad since I got this news on Thursday morning. I never met him but somehow I am feeling a sense of loss too. Maybe I'm feeling for his parents, who must be devastated; or maybe I'm feeling for dd for whom I cannot find the words to console; or maybe I'm just feeling that its a shame that someone so beloved by so many people has left the earth in such a tragic manner.
As moms we often want to "fix" our childrens' problems and pains....as they become adults we know we must step back and let them fix things for themselves, but our hearts are still screaming to do something. Sometimes the best, and only, thing that we can do is to be available to listen and maybe offer a few words of consolation or encouragement. So from the wings I stumble through this crisis with her, hoping that her grief passes soon; and that if there are lessons meant to be learned in this then hoping that she learns them quickly and thoroughly. And hope for her that she never has to go through something like this again.