My friend A, her boyfriend is cheating on her. Friend B, she's single with a stalker ex-boyfriend. Friend C, she's dating guys that just use her for sex. Friend D, she's engaged to a man who flirts with me (then I cut off his communication with me).
I am the ONLY one of my friends who has a healthy relationship. I want to have female friends who also have healthy relationships with their boyfriends or husbands.
Here are 5 ways I Nurture my Relationship with my Boyfriend (I feel like sharing & being positive):
1) SELF CARE: I take care of myself. I attend therapy, because I grew up in an abusive childhood & have abandonment issues. So I work on my self-esteem so I am an emotionally independent girlfriend.
2) MAKE HIM IMPORTANT: I mark my calendars of his "bad work days" (the day of the week that work is tough on him) & I don't make plans so I can give him dinner, sex & a 60 minute full body massage.
3) LISTEN, DON'T TAKE OVER THE CONVERSATION: I read John Grey's Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. I never give advice. I only listen and praise. Giving advice will make a guy feel incompetent and will hurt his ego.
4) ACCOMODATE: I clean his room. He's bad at cleaning. And I don't have a car. (I am 28 and live on my own and pay rent. He and I don't make much money. But he pays for a car, insurance & gas...so he can afford to drive us around. And I pay for most dates). So he helps me in his ways & I help back. (We both live in our own homes)
5) SEX: It's not very hard to give oral sex when I don't feel up to it. Intercourse requires a woman to be arroused and "wet" but oral sex is so easy & fun. Sex is way to emotionally connect (in a committed relationship). Guys masturbate 1-3 times a day. Why not (sometimes or most of the time) have a woman make it feel better (and there's connection)?
I am envolved in online social groups...that meet in person. I will make it a goal to meet female friends who have healthy relationships. I am tired of having no friends who relate to me =(
AND!!!! My parents have a background of infedilty. My dad cheated on my mom for 11 years. That's why I am into all this psychology crap & I read so much.
And my boyfriend is faithful. We have each other's email passwords, he makes me feel safe & secure.
***** tell me what you think. I just want to vent & get reassurance *****