Its been a year since i left my fiance who was emotionally and physically abusive to me. I sometimes wish i could call him or text him and see how he is doing. I know this is awful and I would never do it but when I get this way i feel so hollow inside. We were friends all through school and only decided to further the relationship when we were 24 and 23. He went to the army and i stuck by him every step of the way. When he came back he was cruel and mean. He tore my mcl and damaged my wrist and almost broke my jaw before I had the strength to pack up and leave. It was so awful some nights i would be to scared to sleep. After i left I had to hide my car, change jobs and felt like i was being hunted. I know im in a better place and I never want to go back to that awful situation its just some nights i miss him more than i can bear. I don't want to miss him anymore and I want to feel free from him. But that never comes. The feeling comes less now than what it use too but i know i will never fully get over losing someone that i feel was my soul mate. And that sucks. I can't vent to my friends or family cause they dont understand what im going through. I feel like the love of my life has passed away even though he is still living and breathing. How does one get over that or deal with it. Does it ever fade? i have tried speaking with my pastor about it but i always still end up feeling the same way as i do now. Im so tired of being heartbroken.