First of all I wanted to post this in E A S but for some reason I can't. I am old enough to be the mother of a lot of your posters so I should know better. I have been married for 17 years to a wonderful man but got involved with a former neighbor 6 years ago and I have been leading a double life. I only see him about once or twice a month and have very limited communication. No text or emails and calls only during a 5 minute time frame in the morning before he goes to work or 15 minutes after his work. If he doesn't call me or his phone is turned off or rings and he doesn't answer that can ruin my day. I cry like a teenager, am bitchy and moody, don't eat( I only weigh 100lbs) and can't concentrate. When I know I will see him I get "high" am in a good mood, I eat, and am nicer to my husband. The anticipation is much better than the encounter. We see each other for less than an hour in a place so horrible that only gay men or hookers go there. We have never shared a meal or done anything that didn't involve taking our clothing off.
I am tired of suffering but I don't know how to end this. I don't sleep that is why I am writing this at 4:00 am I have tried counseling, God, and drugs. I am running out of options other than death!
hELP ME SOMEONE!