I’m Katie, I’m 24 years of age and it will be four years next month since I had an abortion. Personally I had the worst time I could have ever imagined post abortion and I know I’m not the only one. For a long time I envied the people I knew of which had had abortion and didn’t seem to bother about it but now I’m grateful for my experience as it has moulded me into who I am today.
I managed to turn my life inside out through self destruction after I gave up my baby, I never thought I would forgive myself. But four years later I’ve transformed once again and am now in my final year of a psychology degree.
For my final dissertation project I am researching the effects of abortion on psychological wellbeing, especially in relation to physical pain. Many people disregard the idea of Post Abortion Stress Syndrome however I know from experience what exactly I went through and what stages of grief I passed through to get to where I am today. There are now studies which show women can in fact go through stages of grief and that grief post abortion is very real, when once up on a time it was somewhat dismissed. Partly due to the fact we CHOSE to end our pregnancies. Maybe so... but that doesn’t always mean we didn’t love what was inside of us. I would lay at night talking to my stomach apologising for what I was about to do, it’s not what I wanted but I knew that baby would be born into a world of poverty, I had just started university, the father hated me, I didn’t think my family would have supported me and above all that I wasn’t emotionally ready. It’s the hardest thing I have ever done.
Due to my experience I’m embarking on this research with a totally open mind. I would love it and be so grateful if any of you would be kind enough to complete an online based questionnaire about your experience with abortion. It’s not very long at all and mostly focuses on the physical pain experienced post procedure. Your responses would be 100% anonymous and would not be shared with anyone but myself and the data collected from the study will be destroyed afterwards.
For any further information on the study, you can email me at Km4hss@bolton.ac.uk and I will be happy to provide as much info as I can.
Also please feel free to email me with and questions about my journey and experience with abortion. If I can help even one person it makes tear worth it.
On a final note to each and every one of you, you are brave and you are strong. I realise only now that I am a strong woman with a strong head on my shoulders. To make such a decision requires courage, selflessness and pure strength. Even if you aren’t there today, you will be at peace with your decision eventually.