This is my second time here on these boards. I really thought I wouldn't have to come back, yet here I am. I won't go into the whole story, but this second affair is with a different woman. In between the two affairs, I had my second child, who is now 2. My oldest is 6. Let me be clear--we are not a "new" family...I'm 42 and he is 39 and we've been married for 16 years. My dilemma---I desperately want to do two things: 1. make sure the OW's husband knows of the affair (I'm not sure if they are separated now, too, not), and 2. talk to her just one time. I'd like to tell her how wonderful it is that her children were able to grow up (they are older---end and out of high school) in a united family, and lament that my young children will never have that chance. Bottom line, I want to put even just a twinge of guilt in her head. I know in my head that it probably won't matter to her, really, but something makes me feel like this is something I need to do to make myself feel better. I want to tell her H only because in the first affair, the OW's H knew, but didn't tell me, and I was a little annoyed by that. Anyone wanna talk me out of this???