OK. Many of you know the history. For the newbies...
H had A with person I will call S in Dec. 2010. She was an old family friend of his who I had only met a couple times. I found out by watching a LIVE chat logged into his FB account when he happened to be on his laptop in another state at work. He was asking her for a hook up. I even saw my H write when I called him to say WTF say Oh SH!@ elmosmom knows. (well he really said my name). Needless to say by the end of the night she knew I knew and she dropped me as a FB friend (go figure...)
ANYWAYS>>>> Fast forward to Monday of this week. I FINALLY after all this time was able to arrange a time that I would see her completely away from family or friends ( she lives a few hours from here). I was in her town on some other business, so I went to her work and had lunch (she is a restaraunt trainer).
I saw her a few times and almost chickened out, but knew it was now or never and since she is old family friend, I wanted to see her on my terms rather than bumping in to her at a funeral, wedding, or other family type function that we would all have to attend.
After lunch, I asked my waitress if she was busy and she went to check. She came around the corner saw me and just for a SPLIT second her face fell and she ducked back, I heard her say I mide as well get this over with. She stops a full table away from me. I just sit there and smile at her. She looks confused. So, I smile broader. She smiles. Here goes our conversation:
Me: You don't remember me?
S: No, I'm sorry.
Me (standing up still smiling) Well you should be because you did some not so nice things to me a couple years ago.
S: WHAT? Here?
Me: No, (and I swear on a stack of bibles, I cocked my head sideways and said super sweetly almost in a sing song voice) you kinda slept my husband.
S: WHAT? Who?
Me: (wondering how many husbands has she slept with to not remember). You know that would be E
S: Huh? Are you sure you have the right S? There are 2 of us who work here ( NOW REMEMBER OLD FAMILY FRIEND OF H's and WAS MY FB FRIEND!!!!)
Me: Well just to be sure, which one are you?
Me: (Sweetly and sing song again) Yup, that would be you.
S: But... sputter...sputter... I didn't.
Me: (Tapping her on the shoulder) It's ok. I just came by to say I forgive you. (Then I grabbed my bag and went to the line to pay my bill and walked out of that place with my head held SUPER high!!!
I swear it felt so good to just finally release that anger and move forward. I don't think that anybody, except MAYBE the table next to me heard me. When I was leaving I heard my waitress go up to her and say "was she complaining???" Hilarious! I figure either A) She is a skank who really doesn't remember who she sleeps with, B) is delusional and has made herself forget what she did, or C) just a liar. Either way, my head is held high and I am happy with me again. Although I will admit perhaps she really didn't recognize me and won't she be surprised when I see her at the next wedding or funeral with the family. LOL
I told H about it and while he didn't heartily agree, he didn't disagree with how I did it either and he understood that I had to do it. He even noted to me later this week how happy he is to see that I truely do seem at peace with life again.
Anyways, the whole point of this long post is to announce that after 2 years, I finally feel better and don't feel like I have to fake it. The nerves have left of her having power over me when I think OMG what am I going to do if I go drop in at extended family and bump into her there. (They don't know). I was finally able to reclaim my power over my own life. IT FEELS WONDERFUL.
Hugs to you all who are either beginning your journey and I hope my story of this week brings you a bit of comfort to know that one day it is possible to feel whole again. And hugs to the rest of you especially Myradorn and Pater who have helped me so much in this long journey. Thank you so very much. I know that I will still have a bad day here and there, but it is so nice to feel like I have made progress on the road to recovery.
God bless and prayers for us to move forward another day!