Since my MIL had a stroke 7 weeks ago my husband has fallen out with 2 of his brothers, one sister and one of his sister in laws. He has never been close to his family and he and his mother just got close after her stroke. After one of his sister’s died last August he and his siblings all vowed to be closer and act more like a family. But after their mom’s stroke they all fell apart again and started fighting with one another.
My MIL died on Tuesday and my husband has refused to meet with his family to help make funeral arrangements stating he was not going over his brother’s house under any circumstances because as he put it “ I’m not going over there and make anyone uncomfortable in their own home.” I told him the fact that his brother called and asked him to come over; means he is willing to put their differences aside in light of their mothers death.
After he had expressed to several families that he did not feel comfortable going over to his brother’s, they decided to meet in a neutral place which turned out to be his mothers home. But he still refused to go stating to me, he was not going to deal with those people. He was really angry with one of his brothers ( not the one whose house they were supposed to meet at) because his brother was supposed to take their mother to a follow up doctor’s appt the day before she died and he didn’t.
My husband feels his mother may have still been alive if his brother had taken her to the doctor like he was supposed to. He felt if he were to see his brother it would not be a good situation. So I understood how he felt and agreed he probably needed to stay away and calm down. Then he said he is not riding in the family car, going to the repast or the gravesite; I said nothing even though I disagreed with that decision. But when he said he was not going to stay for his mothers funeral service and would only be putting in an appearance I spoke up. I told him that I felt that would be rude and disrespectful for him not to stay for his own mother’s funeral and that you don‘t just put in an appearance at your own mother‘s funeral. He blew up at me saying he knew he should not have talked to me about anything and that he didn’t give a damn what I or any body else thought about him. He then stormed out of the kitchen and went in the office and slammed the door.
My question is… would it be wrong of me to not ride with my husband to the funeral and drive my own car? Because I am not under any circumstances just putting in an appearance at my MIL’s funeral and walking out with him.