My H has been going thru a mid-life crisis for 2 years now. Learned of his Affair 1 year ago. I was and am still devastated but it is what it is and I need to prepare for a D. Here is my issue.
He still lives with me. I have asked him to leave several time but he hasn't. If and when he leaves the mortgage is $1800, I think I can do it, it will be tight, but I can do it. He says I can have everything and won't fight me. I said no child support if he sticks to that. Kids are 17 and 16 yrs. I have $11k saved, he has $0.
I live in CA. No fault law. I have $100k in 401k and make more $ than he does. He has $30k in 401k. If we divorce, he can take 1/2 my 401k andI may need to pay him alimony. oh and take my saving and some investments I have, about $5k ....WTH???
I have 20 years with this man and 18 were wonderful. He has gained 200 lbs that he lost 5 yrs ago, drinks everyday and avoids me except for a kiss on the cheek at night and one when he leaves for work. NO conversation. He is depressed and refuses to get help for himself. As much as I want to work things out he is making zero effort and I can only take so much.
I don't know if I should let him stay while he pays the house while I work on paying off our timeshare $14k and my credit $5k credit card? Or insist on him leaving. I don't think he will fight me for my $ but I NEVER thought we would be in this situation. The house is not worth what we owe. He owes $5k in credit card and his car payment $15k
He pays the house I pay everything else, utilities, food, cell, car insurance etc. I need a new car no car...soon.
I am afraid once he sees how much living on his own will cost he may fight me.
What to do???