Last Sat. My best guy friend in the whole world passed away and it hurts like hell.... He sort of took the place of a boyfriend and my ego wasnt done
with that.. It is making me think of my own mortality as I am approaching 59 next month.. He was 58 and sick last year but I kept thinking he could have done things to get better but the was tired of being poor and this life on earth...but it doesnt make the pain go away..
I try so hard not to think about the future and some days I dont and then some days I do... I dont know so confused right now..
some of my metaphysical friends think we all have a time we die and its already written in the stars.. I dont know and that makes me depressed as there is alot to do on this planet and I dont like suffering or when people suffer..
I believe in God and all and the bible but maybe that is because that is what I was taught and it made sense to me more than any other thing I know .....