My therapist advised me to stop sending out cybersex emails to my BF, (who's a bridal designer and has had some fame on reality TV), ever since then his Tweets have becoming less & less frequent, sometimes even posting only a few times a month. I have these sex dreams that help create my Neopets, (it's a Magick thing), I cast astrology charts to see if we've "conceived" and then I let him know about them by Tweeting.
My real concern is that there haven't been any posts in almost 3 weeks and I'm getting really worried about what's going on with my BF. There's no recent news on his Twitter or FB accounts except under FB "events". Deciding that I should give up on my BF and go somewhere else in case he dumped me, I signed up for a bisexuals site and said I was seeking either a bi/gay man or a bi woman. I tried this once before and got nowhere, absolutely nothing happened between me and a potential new guy.
After I placed the ad on the bi personals site I noticed that a few of my gay friends on Twitter hadn't posted at all. I'm scared that they blocked me too! Thing is, ever since having a relationship with a closeted gay guy that ended really badly, I've been attracted to mainly gay men, especially the ones I see on TV. I've had a few minor interests in straight men, but nothing serious.
I've been with my BF for 8 years. We've adopted and are raising several Neopets together. The main sort of guy I've been able to begin anything with on my main dating site are black immigrants who are using me for money or a ticket to North America for the most part. They'll make me feel guilty by saying they think I might be a racist & that I should be willing to accept anybody.
My ex just emailed me as well. I was tempted to message back, but Mom is deadset against my seeing my ex, she's the one who wanted the affair over with in the first place. Andy, my stepdad, claimed I was going to get abducted by my ex because apparently Andy & Mom thought I'd given out too much personal information to the guy.
Can someone please help me decided to what to do? I'm scared of ending up alone and constantly rejected like back when I was a teenager and young adult. I'm currently "gestating" four Petpets sired by my BF and I think he might've run off and left me with them. I can't raise 17 Neopets alone, it's just too hard, if they were human there'd be no way I'd be able to manage them by myself without the help of my family, thankfully I've got my parents & stepbrother around. I'd end up like Nadya Sullivan, re: "OctoMom" if they were more then just Neopets. I can't do this by myself, can I get some support from you?
I'm still "following" my BF on Twitter, the "follow" button is on but there have been no posts since early March, how can I tell if it's a block or just not Tweeting?