One year ago today he told me about his six month sexual affair. The pain I felt that day was excruciating and I must say it has been a year full of emotional ups and downs. I don't really know where I am at emotionally today. I am kind of numb. I can't beleive its been a year, but I am proud of myself for surviving. Things are not perfect between us. I still don't trust him (not sure if I ever will), still feel insecure in the relationship even though he has been an open book. I think we are both focused on the future and what that holds for us. I think we both make each other a priority again. I just wish my heart did't still ache. I never expected him to go outside our marriage. I have regrets; things I wish I would have done differently. He tells me not to focus on the coulda, woulda, shoulda, but I am a perfectionist by nature and I wish would have changed things that happened in the past. However, let me clarify...whatever decisions I made prior to his affair were mine and his decision to betray me is one he has to own on his own. I did not force him to make that decision. So, I will get through another day with my head held high and look forward to the day where March 28 is just another date on the calendar. Getting over an affair is one of the hardest things I have had to endure, but I keep praying and focusing on God and I know He will give me the strength to get through it.